Because it's never about wether I burn for it or not. Cause there is no doubt about me burning for art and fashion. The problem is me using up all my time and thinking on work. To fully get an artistic project really happening and completely done, I have to live it. I have to live it, I have to breathe it. I have to stop existing and only be through it. But that is something one only can manage doing in f.ex. a school-environment with the economic stability that school (actually - nothing you think of when you're in it) provides. I want to disolve in it, I want to melt my mind and heart and soul into one great project that comes out being something incredible and a part of me. Where did that go, I need to find it again somehow, even though I work full-time.
And in some ways I feel I have to, because that is how I survive. It's easy getting distracted by boys and friends and work-stuff, but what always gets me breathing again and thinking straight is art. It's all about getting out my emotions and memories into something physical, something viewable or to be listened to.
I have so much of me that I want to get out, but all those pretty portraits of those pretty faces just don't cut it. I need something else and oh god, I'm getting tired of my own repeating record, but I want something else, I want something more. How do I get it, where do I get it, where do I start digging for it.
Oh and where did the sci-fi go - gotta get back to that.