This week I'm home alone (don't take this the wrong way, Charlie, I still love ya), and I'm friggin loving it! My roomie has been gone since saturday and ab-so-lutely _nothing_ has been done. I have perhaps let down all the women in the world down by letting this apartment go down the dumpster-drain (no just kidding I am seriously superduper-feminist, you guys. Don't worry). But by god, it feels good to not give a damn!
And I've found Netflix (have been avoiding it on purpose, cause I knew I would get hooked, but now I gave in), so I've been watching everything I could find. And while I've been netflixing the shit out of me, I've also been drawing and painting and figured out new ideas for tattoos.
I am seriously enjoying the last days of freetime and good weather before it all starts. Oh, I am so not looking forward to this next month! It'll be Stressgust (stress+august)!!!!!
The pictures from last sunday is done. Now it's just for me to embrace the freetime before it's fulltime on both H&M and photographing. Have actually got like four/five jobs this next month. And am moving. This will be an interesting month, but I am a wo-man (reference to that episode of sex and the city when Carrie is drunk and calling big - classic)! So I'll manage.
Looking forward to the day I'm in my new home, hanging up my pictures on the wall.
I have this folder on my computer. It's called "En dag" - One day.
That is the folder I put all the pictures that visualizes my dreams. And one of the dreams I am really thinking about these days, are the one about taking a trip to Tokyo. Cause those lights really mesmerize me. Because I want to sit in a hotelroom high above the clouds, looking at a never-ending city. Because I want to say mushi-mushi. And above all, because I want to see Siril again. I miss her and I would love to see the person she has become after this half-year where she's been living in the most crazy town of all.
One day I'll be with her, doing everything you should and shouldn't do. In the city with all the mesmerizing lights.
I've talked earlier about me having to start taking more daily pictures and post them on the blog. Well, though I might be really bad at it digitally, I actually do take some photos analouge whenever I get the chance. It seem to be my summer-thing, cause every summer I end up with loads of analouge pictures.
Well anyway, here's from the latest bunch, from my trip to London to visit Sarah, all the way to the first day I had a shoot with Øyvind (and inbetweet are some pictures of Kai from a day we went out to jam).
One month left and then I'm moving. Just absolutely unbelieveable to think about. So surreal, it hasn't really kicked in yet.
We've got an apartment! And it is fucking perfect. We even have our own little roof-balcony-thingy!!! Guess who's gonna go all Liz from Roswell on it and put out like a million candles and sit out, writing a diary about all the crazy stuff my alien boyfriend make me go along on. Wait, that sounded more wrong than what it should. Oh sigh, every Roswell'er will understand.
Okay so now it's like almost halfway official. I'm moving again, this time to Oslo, the capital of Norway instead of the capital of Denmark, which I moved to last time.
I've gotten an interview for an H&M-store, and will be going down for another traintrip (I went a week ago as well - eight hour traintrips are NOT as cosy as you always imagine them to be) tomorrow. It's all going really fast - both work-related and money-related. I am trying to make everything work at once, and I'm not sure how this will work out in the end. Have this big dream - and will do everything in my power to make it happen - to celebrate christmas and new year's in Tokyo. One of my best friends are living there this year, and I figured that A) When do I ever get the chance to see Tokyo from the eyes of someone living there, and not the tourist-y part. And B) How nice wouldn't it be to celebrate christmas with Siril in one of the craziest towns in the world! And I am having so many ideas on what we will do to make everything more norwegian-christmas-y. I think my speciality is making something out of almost nothing, and I find that challenge super-fun!
And I actually can't wait to go down to Oslo now. I was really against it at first - I seriously don't like that city. But then I remembered all my friends living there. And then I remembered that hey - I have almost all of my friends living there. I'll be LESS alone there than here, which is pretty sick! And most of them are in the photo-business, which will mean I'll get more talk about it, more inspiration, more hits for my addiction of photos. Which by the way is starting to circle totally out of control. I am literally swimming in pictures to over my head right now (okay maybe not literally)! There's work, there's educational-photos (trying to be better at lookbook-pictures) and there's portraits AND there's personal projects. I am for reals doing one shoot a week. My online portfolio is three pictures from being just as big as last year's portfolio - in other words I've done in six/seven months what I did in one year last year. It's a good thing for sure, I am really starting to feel good about it, I post with pride instead of "ohgod, I guess I have to post this so people see I've done something at least". I can feel that I've matured, gotten older - both in my head but also in my photos. Because I am working so much with it, it is maturing with me in a weird way. Photographing has become such a big part of me it's growing with me. Trippy.
And sometimes I think part of my development is because of Shirin, my last roommate in Copenhagen. She draws and paints all the time, she sat on the cold floor and painted her feelings straight down on the paper, so goddamn naked and true that I felt embarassed on how simple it is done if you only believe in it (I never dare to show my feelings, my family is the perfect example of people-keeping-it-in). By watching her nearly spewing out her emotions every day - both by talking to me, and by drawing it on a piece of paper, I realized that's exactly what I have to do too. If I want my work to become something I take pride in, then it's essential for me to open the fuck up. And open up so much my heart bleeds all over it. And I'm not all there just yet, but I have a book where I try do to just that. It's a book I don't show that much, but it's my space where I can write and draw and paint exactly everything I feel. Wether it's pretty or not, or if it's dead serious girl-thoughts about wanting a man and a baby and getting married (which oh so often is being shamed, which I find extremely sad). And this has pushed me a little more in the photographical part of me too. I am trying to find myself and then start believing in it and then it's all about telling people that fuck you, this is me and if you don't like me, you can remove your fugly face out of mine. Represent! Just kidding...
But yeah this is me these days. It's a lot going on, I am freaking a little out, I am working a little bit more than what I probably should, I am so goddamn tired of Photoshop. But all in all, I am doing fine. Better than fine actually, I am doing great! I might not be getting any money from it, but I am doing what I love and that feeling is so good it trumps the feeling of not getting paid enough money to eat anything else than noodles.
Will by the way try to start take more daily pictures to show you guys what I do. Especially when I move, so that I'll do what I did last time I moved, keeping everyone at home informed on my doings.
(If I did that now, it would be me sitting with coffee in my hand, editing in photoshop. Haha).