Wednesday, 27 March 2013


A little sneak peak of what I'm planning on doing after easter. Or at least one of the things I'm planning on doing.
You see, last month was all about making improvements in the lighting-department and learning some more about the basic. This month (and the ones after) will be all about doing the real deal. My goal is to make at least one professional fashion editorial serie. With "real" models, good clothes, good quality. Or at least as good as I can get.

I have this piercing feeling of the need to renew my life. I want to get rid of about two thirds of my wardrobe, I want to sell shoes, dresses, accesories. I want to delete half of my homepage - actually I want to delete it all and start over with only new pictures. I want to start a new job right away. I want to renew my location. And right now I am willing to do it all. Get rid of things, work in a "dead-end-job", live at home, delete half of my work. I want to be renewed and fresh. Not necessarily different. Just new. The old Camilla in a new package. Stronger, more adult, less kidding around in my professional life. Cause I am actually professional in something. I just haven't been acting and living and breathing it just yet. My last job gave me a hint - it will be the beginning of my understanding of the profession I'm a professional in. It feels wrong to say it, it feels like saying "I am pretty, I look amaze" and whatnot. It's like it's a forbidden thing to say in my head, cause oh my god what would people think. What if I'm not professional after all. But you know what, my minus one trillion dollas on the bank account from two years of school automatically makes me a professional photographer. I'm saying it out loud! Not for anyone else, not to make a icky statement about how good and cool I am or whatever. No, I am saying it out loud for myself. Cause if you want to succeed, you have to believe. And I have to start believe (why do my hands want to write beliebe?). I have to start. Now. Cause I am ready.

So I am really looking forward to the next couple of months. I have started on the search for a job in London, but I know I will not succeed just yet. I don't want to either, I want to be just a tad bit better first. Just a tad before moving to one of the hardest cities ever to live in. I want it too much to listen to the better judgement.


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