Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Christmas oh twelve

Well, yeah, that's how busy I've been lately. Here is the pictures from my christmas ya'll!
Which also was the last day I saw and talked to my uncle, who died three weeks ago.
There's really not that much to say about it other than he is severly missed and our lives won't be the same without him. His two daughters ("my girls") are now without a father, they will never experience the adult view of a parent, how the person really is.
Cannot count how many times I've gotten the message "take care of the girls for us" from various family members and friends these weeks. The hardest one was the day we found him, and the corroners had carried him into the car. We were a little gang of six standing there and mourning and right before they were to close the door on the car, everybody huddled together and cried. Then a friend of him - a woman I've never met in my life - grabs my arm, don't let go and say "take care of the girls now, okay? You promise?" I did and she wouldn't let me go. I didn't want her to let go either. That's the first time I've felt real, hard, penetrating grief.
And the first time it's ever been frustrating not having a faith in anything. I just hope he's not alone like he were when he passed away.

I guess this was supposed to be a cosy post about christmas and joy, but it's hard to keep it that way right now. So this post will instead be the memories of the last day together.

He really was the kindest man I've ever met. And I can't help but remember all those times we fought when I was little and he was being a stupid irritating uncle who still let me live to him even though I was annoying and grumpy 24/7.

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