Monday, 14 January 2013

This is a long one you guys


My goal is to look like this again. 

I miss being seventeen. I just wish I had some brains while I were there.
It sucks to be older and look at all the mistakes you did when you were younger, and not being able to understand them until it's like... A million years too late cause you're like... Old.
I know I'm just a youngster still, but you know, that feeling of getting older just kreeps up more and more. And babies and boyfriends and marriage and all that stuff just start getting so goddamn close up on me. And one part is screaming "Hells NO, keep that uterous of mine unbefruited!", but another part of me is just kicking for a baby in my belly and a man that will be there for ever and ever and wants to marry me and buy a house with me somewhere nice. 

And then there is this third feeling that is way to scary...
Of all the goals I want to achieve before I die. And also all the goals I want to do before kids. How on earth am I gonna make them happen within the next few years I've got before I'm getting too old for kids. I mean, come on, I don't want to be a fourty-year-old babymaker. Hell, I don't feel like being a thirty-year-old one either! But I sure as hell don't want kids the next couple of years! And that's where the math starts failing. Gooood, I am SO gonna be one of those moms that just get unintentionally preggers with some bloke I puked all over during a failure intercourse. I bet he won't even have curls and the baby will be like... something that looks like it came out of a box and patched together all wrong. 

NO I am not a dramaqueen, what is wrong with you! 

Honestly though... I'm getting old.
And my ex is on his third relationship now post-me, and I'm like... still single. And it actually sucks, cause you sort of always want to be the winner in the ex-game and be the first one with someone new and more shiny. And he's like slutting himself through them all. While I'm slutting myself through random guys that don't even bother texting back. This is life y'all! You gotta love it sometimes! 

Ps I am actually in a great mood right now, so this is not some kind of emo-angry-letter to life and our holy mother earth that has created us women so unfairly menstrual and uterous-al.

OH and ps ps I am sooo procastrinating right now, so that I don't have to do the things I have to do, which is only boring stuff.

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