It took me a while to see it. Moving to another country is harder than what you think, there are so many things you didn't really think of would happen. "Oh I'll find friends easy, as soon as I get work, everything will work out". False, baby! Loads more is needed for that to kick in. Loads more is needed for most of it. The language-barriar, the misunderstandings, the meeting of people, trying to make connections and friends. I am surviving now. It was hard at first, a month ago I felt like just giving up and go die, I admit it. But now I feel I understand it all. I won't live here for the rest of my life. Maybe not even for the rest of the year. But the amount of learning I have done is worth it all. And it is not so much on learning how to survive moving on your own to another country, it is more that I have learned so goddamn much about myself. I know more who I am now. I know more what to do with my art. Yes, I am being bold enough to selfproclaim myself as an artist now. I have an (pretty expensive) education in an artistic field, and I have the artist-blood in me from birth. I have maybe not totally found my way of taking pictures just yet, but I have found that drive to it. After months of little friends and a lot of alone-time I have started going back to scratch, remembering how this all started. My roommate does this thing where she just does something, kindof without thinking, just feeling, and it ends up being great. Like, she is out on town, and has her really easy compact camera and takes pictures. She sees something on her way home or whatever, a light in the street, and just... you know... click the button and goes home. THAT is the thing I have been missing the last couple of years. Just that thing right there - doing something by feelings and not by thought and calculation. That is what I have to do with my pictures - my art, to make it good, make it something I can be proud of saying is mine. My feelings have to overrule my logic, and then I just have to let it explode out into something watchable.
Copenhagen has learned me this. This city is more feelings than thoughts. No doubt. The art here is overwhelming. Or maybe it just is in this apartment, I'm not sure yet. But I do sure not regret moving here anymore.
Pictures from my roommate, Shirin.