Today we marked the tragedy that happened here in Norway on friday. First it was a one minute silence at noon and then there were a gathering for all those who mourns and want to show their respect and sympathy for the victims in the terrible murders on innocent lifes. I think all the words and adjectives has been used up in describing the shock and sadness we all feel these days, but still I find myself repeating them over and over, in some sort of denial - cause it is too unbearable to coprehend.
When I got to work, it was noon and everybody at the center-mall I work at had closed the shops and gathered in the open space. Alongside with customers, we all stood there in silence, and people started holding hands. In the end, there were almost like a chain of people holding hands. People who never have met before held hands together and shared the same unbelievable grief.
I didn't know any of the victims. And I find it irrational wether or not I've known someone who knew someone who saw something. The fact that a human being could plan for nine years to assasin kids with such cold blood. Stare them in the eyes and shoot them like they were nothing - for no other reason than they MIGHT one day become a part of a political party who saw the world in a different way than him - is just not what I can manage to shake off. I have cried noumerous times these last couple of days. I've watched the news 24/7, I've read all there is to read and seen all there is to see. Watched kids and teenagers talk about what they saw and experienced as they watched their friends get shot or how they survived with dead friends lying over and under them. And I cry every time, because it is such a terrible thing and such a nightmare to think that YES this person actually exist, YES there is someone in this world capable of doing such a crime and still look at himself as a hero. They still exist. And when I saw that little thing today, at a mall, with a little group of strangers, holding hands and mourning in silence for the loss this country have had these days. Well, it was beautiful to see and oh so hard to watch and hold back the tears.
More photos are developed and scanned today. This time from different parties and concerts I've been on the last month (or maybe more like weeks, but who's counting). My ultimate partycamera strikes again!
First off, from my birthdayparty (which sort of blew. Again. I'm done with trying to make my birthday happen haha). Henrik is by the way my best buddy.
Siril. I found it really funny to see her through the window all alone and smoking, so I had to take a picture of it. Ofcourse.
Charlotte is so cute when she laughs
Tina and Karianne
Tina and Karianne had to make their hair big and fluffy before hitting town
Tina and me out enjoying the partylife
Tina and Sivert
Hermann and me at a concert on thursday
Haha, love the face in the background!
Hermann and me making kissing-faces to the camera. It's what we do.
Hermann making the angry face. I always crack up, because he comes with it in such strange places in a conversation.
This was just what I needed. That little hint of perfection was enough for me to explode in feelings and art. I can feel it so bad I am shaking.
Took many more pictures of tonight with my analogue camera, will develop tomorrow, so just you sit tight!
Was at a concert today, with a friend of mine from my acitvist-days (I was young and cute and loved the environment). He is so talented, this young man, with so many beautiful songs up his sleeve. Tonight he had a cd-release-concert and my head hurts so bad right now from all the yelling and cheering I came with. I can't help it, when I hear him sing I just can't stop smiling. Not only is his voice amazing, but the music itself is perfect for me. I love it so much, this cd will be so worn out!
Petter, I love you, God!
(And Hermann, I love you too for buying me that irish coffee that made me a bit tipsy at the end)
I want to make collages again. Draw something pretty and make a ugly picture. I want to be creative, I miss doing things with my hands instead of in a digital world. The digital fuss takes all the fun out of the art. I want to take a photo and mess up the film. See what I can do with it and make something ugly and strange. And I want to see his smile on my lips. Give me inspiration, give me something to make my art flow. Give me the vision and skill I need to get it all out in a decent look. I want to go out in the forest and take pictures like I did when I was younger. Just run out, take with me some clothes and a friend and take pictures with a really crappy camera with small aperture and an big ol' ugly flash. It was all so simple, so fun, so ugly and still something was there. Something I've lost. I want it back. Give it all back to me, I want love and passion and sex. Give it all back to me, I've gone a year without feelings to anyone, I want it back. I need to find it, soak it in, use it for all it's worth and spit it all out into something exciting and ugly. I want it ugly. Cause that is love to me. Ugly and violent and absolutely necessary to live a life worth mentioning. Move me, love me, hate me. Just give me something to work with, I want my emotions to set on fire and explode. Maybe then I'll start making things worth to show and tell. I want to make pictures again.
The day we delivered our exams, the class figured we wanted to party. Didn't get to take that many pictures (Because of a smokemachine I'll be mentioning later on here), but here are some of the some I took:
This was me for that night. Miss the nailpolish, I can't find it!
Elisabeth in the smoke (the boys turned the smokemachine on and at some point we could almost not see eachother)
Hege and Bente. So darn sweet!
And Hera with Anita in the background there. Awman, how bad I miss these two!
I know it probably doesn't look like it amongst all the cool stuff I post and talk about here on my blog, but every once in a while, I actually do have trouble in my life. Some serious too. Sometimes it is even so hard that I don't know if I'll manage to survive! Let's go through some of it:
Sometimes I really struggle with brushing through my hair. Actually that happens a lot, that's why I end up not doing it and get really big dreads all over the place. Sometimes the whole thing is just one. big. dread.
Sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing and end up looking like someone trying to be sexy but failing very much so in nailing it.
Sometimes... I have no idea what's going through my head
Sometimes I wake up being pretty. Not many people can say that!
Sometimes I'm bored since I'm wearing glasses and try to be smart. But it is mostly just boring.
Sometimes I even get together with my friends.
And sometimes I am just not really good at opening my eyes in the right time.
I know it's kinda old news and most people already have seen it, but I just have to say that I love love love Young me, Now me-blog! It's the cutest and funniest thing ever and I've been sitting for hours looking through page after page with funny and cute pictures. Oh!